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Stick Man Fish Cake

So every now and then something inside me stops working. I think it's the common sense or the gut feeling that goes.... "Put that snack down it's not worth it bro". So I picked up the packet of fish cakes and thought, lets try this.

I was a bit nervous upon opening the packaging, even to the stage I researched how this was meant to be eaten. 
It smelt weird, like it was off. Like I should have backed out then and there and not did what I did next and put it in my mouth. URGH! I spat it out . Couldn't even swallow it. Maybe it was the hype I built up over eating this thing. What do I do with the other four sticks? Mr Garbage Bin might enjoy them. It tasted so artificial like it was glued together and then coloured in and someone though if we labelled it meat, some fool would buy it.
It is made from Pollock meat with cheese. Pollock is largely considered to be a whitefish. Traditionally a popular source of food in some countries, such as Norway, in the United Kingdom it has previously been largely consumed as a cheaper and versatile alternative to cod and haddock. However, in recent years pollock has become more popular due to over-fishing of cod and haddock. It can now be found in most supermarkets as fresh fillets or prepared freezer items. For example, when minced, it is the primary component of fish fingers and popcorn fish. It is often the common ingredient used to create imitation crab meat.
Maybe I'm not meant to eat it like this. Anyways if anyone can fill me in on how to prepare it or I did something stupidly wrong. Please let me know. For now, it'll stay under my 'Hell no' pile.